Getting the basics right.

When most of the nation rejoices the "victory" of the Nirbhaya case, I, an ordinary Indian girl, ponder upon whether I would ever be able to witness a day when I would walk out of my house, without the slightest hint of fear of being mistreated; mistreated 'cause I am a female. That raises a much needed question, "what is understood by the word mistreatment"?

Having been living in this particular city since the past six years and in the society since twenty-four years, I keep experiencing mistreatment in the form of eve-teasing. And like any other girl coming from a small town (or not) who lives away from home, I keep getting my share of family's and friends' advice on to dos and not to dos. Say, I follow it all..do everything as told..take every precaution I am expected to; and I should call myself fortunate that it's all paying off... Or is it really?

We are cautioned about the ghastly mishaps which happen around us, that have been "getting into notice lately and hence, multiplying" at a manifold pace, that we do not even care to pay heed to its roots. A cheesy comment while we are walking on the road is ignored rather casually, forget about reacting to the fact that we are being stared at. We all feel that these are such usual, harmless happenings that neither do we have the time, nor the energy or will, to confront a man who can't stop looking at a female. We easily ignore it or murmur a few abuses and let go; till the time he is really intimidating.. In that case, we say something in return, getting to hear a cheesier comment in reply and ultimately, walking off, with a feeling of remorse as to why did we think we could shut a man like that up or shed him some sense.

I would be a complete fool if I'd expect people to come down to the streets because some guy could not stop himself from passing a comment to a girl who was looking beautiful dressed in a salwar-suit, which by the way, covered her up completely, leaving her much provoking face and arms exposed, unfortunately..! I completely understand that. Common behaviour clearly shows commenting and being stared at are harmless. It's "just" a few moments' business, but if you react to it, it might become too big to handle. So, we avoid reacting to a situation like this, rather than giving it off to that man there and then or reporting about him immediately (of course, we are aware that reporting would be a vain attempt). So, we don't. Who would and more importantly, why would anyone take it seriously? It's not causing any physical harm after all. But, what about that feeling of discomfort that we go through during those "few seconds" every time an unwanted man keeps looking at us, although without uttering a single word, but a look that is offensive, for starters? And what about the feeling of humiliation that is filled within us every time we have to stoop several levels down to confront a man who passes a comment on us, which ultimately goes futile. WHY? Why should we tolerate any of it..every single day and not just once, irrespective of what we wear?  

Is it just the appalling acts like rape, acid attacks, sexual assaults, molestation, stalking etc. which "qualify" as mistreatment? Breaching into someone's personal space by doing "nothing", but just a very simple, absolutely common thing like staring or, in other words, "checking a girl out", actually amounts to nothing? Have you ever wondered that this "nothing" could be the beginning of it all?

Think about it.

another Brick in the Wall..

Another brick in the wall, the popular track from Pink Floyd's album The Wall Part 2 talks about the system of education..Here’s my take on it. I believe that being educated means having the ability to look beyond the set boundaries, or as it's popularly put, think out of the box. It’s about being able to critically analyze situations and not just being a part of the herd, mindlessly. 

In the visual, the spectacles and book are the conventional aids of education, while the mist depicts the boundaries or boxes which obstruct your vision or imagination.

Matriarchy : Delusion

Here is one of the many instances of vices in our society..a male-dominant, patriarchal society!

The system of Arranged Marriage. 

You go, see a girl you like by her bio-data and in “proposal photographs” and think she would be suitable for your son. Her family, all prepared but nervous, gives you a warm, hospitable welcome. Being the “ladkiwalas”, it’s their duty to make the “ladkewalas” feel at home; treat them like royalties. Though, each and every person in the room is waiting in anticipation. Still, ladkiwalas are always on their feet, trying to be as warm a host as they can be. Then comes the girl to be seen by the ladkawalas. Oh, she is pretty! Her height is good enough! She is fair and her features are good too! And yeah, she is slim!

You all sit together in the room. Silence prevails. Nobody knows what to say or what to ask. Suddenly, elders decide to leave, leaving the ladka, ladki and a few others of their generation in the room, so that there can be some level of comfort between the two “newly met and could be wedded” people. Hence begins the trails of persuasion to talk, little conversations, questions, expectations…a step for rapport building. Yes, rapport building…so that within that meeting of 3-4 hours, it could be tested whether they can spend the rest of their lives together or not; whether the ladkiwalas get to hear a “yes” from the ladkawalas, for which they have been eagerly waiting or the ladkawalas would ask them to wait ‘cause they still need time to think and consult with the rest of their family, EVEN after the meeting of “those many hours”!

Ladki is shot with all sorts of questions about her hobbies, likes, dislikes, qualifications, clothing habits, eating habits..everything possible. Worse than an interview for job application! She is probably too shy and/ or nervous to ask the questions she has in her mind/ heart. Probably her family instructed her not to question the one she might get married to, ‘cause that might be offensive for his/ his family’s ego! It would be equivalent to questioning THEIR authenticity! They are “the” ladkawalas after all!

Compatibility? That can evolve gradually, during their “courtship” period or something, if it has to. What if it doesn’t? So what! The ladki is adjusting enough. She has been brought up in a joint family. She can and will adjust!

THIS is the 21^st century we are living in and there exists no discrimination. Also, the generation gap is decreasing..

"Society"
COLOURS that TALK.

Bindi, which is majorly adorned by the women of Hindu society, represents power and feminism. Our society, which is male dominant, is developing and growing, but, unfortunately just superficially. Many of the traditions to which the society still adheres, pull the women down denying the respect they deserve. 

This graphic represents how the society is “anti-women” and her freedom. The slash depicts how women’s royalty/power(purple), passion(red), confidence(orange), joy(yellow) and prosperity & growth(green) have been suppressed and left incomplete due to the restrictions which has been responsible for the darkness (black) in their lives.

On pondering further, Bindi, itself is a sign of one of the endless things women are expected to do, by the society. Paradox. Scientifically, it empowers you by increasing your concentration; but now, most of us just put it as we are expected to do so, without even questioning or reasoning it, like most of our other actions.

…..It’s food for thought..